The Christmas Blanket
I’m not sure if my favorite part of the Christmas season is the before, during or after.
Weeks before Christmas, I make lists on lists- gifts, daily schedules with parties and events, dinners, groceries, errands and more. Decorating the house begins around Thanksgiving with the start of paperwhites and Amaryllis. Wreaths and roping come next, then the boxes of Christmas memorabilia are opened and carefully placed around the house. Ribbons make bows, paper crafted into chains and garland is hung. The house is cleaned from bottom to top and then the main floor. Beds are made and extra blankets are put out for the cold winter nights ahead. The anticipation builds as the house becomes full of light and color. Anything seems possible during this period and the thought of having all the children home keeps me going strong.
Then the family arrives, one by one, in twos and threes. Hugs are shared, tears of joy are shed and we quickly get into our family routine. This year, we had 9 core family members home for about a week plus 3, one fiancée and 2 boyfriends for partial visits. The house was brimming with good cheer, conversations, catching up, moments by the fire, playing games, laughing and eating delicious homemade food. Everyone helps out and I can sit and take it all in. Each moment is precious and cherished.
When they leave, there is a daze, a fog, that takes over. I am tired and the experience is bittersweet. I contemplate the fullness and the love felt during our time together while at the same time I feel the loneliness and let down of the ephemeral nature of it all. The cleanup begins, slowly, and I rest and reflect on the past as the new year approaches.
During this whole time period, I am thinking of those who we have lost and who are no longer with us. I am remembering childhood moments. Each vision and feeling washes over me. We create new memories each season, layering and weaving them into the old memories. The blanket of Christmas time is thick, warm, worn and comfortable. I pull this around me as I approach the New Year. The melancholy is heavy but the love I feel for my family and all of the moments together, keep me strong and safe. I am eternally grateful and feel immensely blessed.
Our family home and this place, Adventure Farm, is as much a part of us as we are a part of it. We are inseparable. I cannot imagine any other place to be together. Those that came before us are with us and we are connected to them. Their stories live on as we create our own stories. Our sense of place is vital. It makes sense. It makes us whole. It keeps us rooted. The story can be brutally honest or disguised in a veil of softened memories but the thread is interconnected and runs deep into our veins. We speak of terroir in the vineyard and the wine holds this place as well. It reflects the hardships, the rainbows, the woven intricacies of the ephemeral and the eternal. It’s all interrelated and we are one with the land.
“That house was… a perfect house. Whether you like food or sleep, or storytelling or singing, or just sitting and thinking best, or a pleasant mixture of them all. Merely to be there was a cure for weariness, fear and sadness”
J. R. R. Tolkien
The Christmas season reminds me of the importance of family and place and living in the moment. The New Year is approaching and the days are growing longer. It is time to hibernate a bit, slow down, reflect and reset. It is time to flip through garden books and dream of spring. It is time to rest, think deep thoughts and watch dramatic sunsets. No resolutions need to be officially declared but self care should be a top priority. We need to be whole in order to give. When spring comes, we will be ready to run through the grass, embrace nature’s awakening and make big plans. Until then, the fireside and the dogs await. A good book and a glass of wine in hand as well.
